Drunk people sometimes assign meaning to inanimate objects, like chairs or lamps. This Reddit user’s drunk friend found a rock he found important to him after a night out drinking. But it doesn’t stop there. His friends lost him, and the next day, his friends heard about a guy throwing rocks through windows. Minutes later, he was walking by their window wearing only torn socks and holding a rock. They assumed he was the guy throwing rocks through the windows and he was caught red-handed (via Grimsnot).
We’ve read about some strange stories on this list, but this one has to top them all. Again, drunk people have the most fascinating ideas. This Reddit user said, “I got super cross faded the night before my buddy’s wedding and proceeded to break 2 mirrors over my head, then use same head to smash a hole into a door. Also, disassemble a bunk bed at the campground we were at, and then finish off the night by doing some bloodletting with a piece of said broken mirrors ala Billy in the movie Predator. I write it all off by saying that I had watched Conan the Barbarian the night before and was channeling the barbarian spirit.”
He absolutely channeled his barbarian spirit. But it’s not something we would recommend before a friend’s wedding (via dankwyzzard).
It’s never fun getting locked out of your house. But have you ever gotten locked inside somewhere? There are drunk people out there who certainly have, just like this Reddit user’s friend. His friend “winds up in a parking garage. The garage closes for the night. He pulls the fire alarm, police, fire, etc. all show up. He comes casually walking out, tells the nearest officer “It’s okay, I’m a Secret Service agent”. Cop takes one look, tells him to GTFO.” At least he didn’t get into trouble and has a good story out of it (via mikehill33).