These People Shared Their Deepest, Darkest Confessions Online

Missing Money

When something of ours goes missing, our immediate reaction is to blame someone else. This Reddit user’s confession involves a missing 50 bucks and the loss of a friendship. “I became friends with this guy called R, we would play games together, work out, hang out and just have a great time. He once confessed to us that he used to steal things and he came from a rougher neighborhood but regretted it a lot and swore he would never do it again.”

We’d already be on high alert around this guy. But people have secret confessions from their past, and it doesn’t define who they are now. “I had a $50 bill I think in one of my drawers and one day I couldn’t find it, and I suspected R stole it but wanted to discuss it with someone else first.”

“I asked the group when R wasn’t around if any of them took it and when they said no, we all suspected R did it. When R came back to the group a few moments later, I asked him if he had seen the bill. He said no but quickly noticed the group was suspecting him of it. I told him to give the bill back if he had taken it, or if he needed it, to just tell me, and things would go back to normal. I wouldn’t judge him for it.”

R is the first person you’d think would steal the money. It’s understandable. But they continued, “He got really angry and defensive. Said he regretted telling us about his past because we are now using it against him. I told him to just forget about it and pretend it never happened but he wasn’t having it. He didn’t hang with us anymore afterward and distanced himself from the group. Made me feel terrible because he was almost like a younger brother to me. I was taking the drawer apart like 3 years later and I found the bill scrunched at the back of the cabinet.” It turns out R didn’t steal the money. What a shame. This person lost a friendship but didn’t lose the 50 bucks too (via Reddit).

Midnight Stretching

We all have strange desires. This Reddit user confessed that he finds pleasure in his midnight stretching. He said, “I’m a guy. This is weird but sometimes I’ll wake up in the middle of the night and stretch and I’ll sort of feel myself off, meaning rubbing my chest and nipples. It feels good, semi-sexual. Then I’ll stop and go back to sleep. No whacking off or anything. Usually, my muscles are all tense when I do it.”

At least he does it when he’s completely alone, with no one else around. There’s nothing worse than waking up from your slumber to find your roommate rubbing his nipples in the middle of the night, more than once (via Reddit).

Googly Eyes

This Reddit user worked for a horrible boss. We can’t even imagine showing up to work and at that point, we’d just quit. But sometimes, quitting isn’t an option. This Reddit user’s confession includes payback from his horrible boss. One day, the boss offered “performance-based shifts,” which put the employees in competition with one another. He said, “the competition also dictated whether you got an early, mid, or late shift, but neither of us gave a sh** about that. It was the days off that mattered.” To make up for it, he decided to find a better solution.

“Then one day I’m chatting with an older employee who was real-arts and craftsy. One of the sweetest ladies you ever met. She was digging through her great big purse for something and pulls out this truly massive bag of all different sizes of self-adhesive googly eyes. I made a joke about how great it would be to put googly eyes all over my boss’s office and she just handed me the whole thing and smiled before sitting down to eat her lunch.”

He said, “My boss’s office was at the back of the building and while it was mostly wide open, I worked the latest shift, so by the end of the day, everyone has pushed to the front. I snuck off every evening for a few months and put googly eyes all the fuck over her office. It was spectacular. The best part was that because my office did stupid cheesy sh** like “management has an open door policy” her office literally didn’t have a door. She could never prove it was me because it could be anyone.” This is one of the best confessions on this list. There’s no way that he could’ve gotten caught, and he ended up getting back for his lost time (via Reddit).