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Travelers Share Insane Reviews That Prove They’re Disconnected From Reality

Darren Ryding July 20, 2022

No Hairdressers

Here’s one of the strangest reviews in the history of the world. “The brochure said no hairdressers at the resort,” the traveler wrote. “We’re both trainee hairdressers and think they knew and made us wait longer for service” (via Carry On).

It’s highly unlikely that the travel agency did a secret background check and uncovered the truth about these people. Furthermore, they misinterpreted the brochure because it meant that there simply were no hairdressers available to style your hair at the resort. Sometimes logic defies people and this is a clear example.

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Too Small

It stands to reason that a suite with multiple bedrooms would be bigger than one with just a single bedroom. However, one traveler didn’t receive this memo and felt incredibly jealous about their friend’s accommodation. They stayed in the same resort but with different-sized rooms.

“I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friend’s three-bedroom suite,” they wrote. “Ours was significantly smaller (via Escape.com).” We don’t know how they didn’t comprehend that this was completely reasonable. But there is no explaining reality to some people.

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Spanish Taxi Drivers

It’s safe to assume that most people working in a country are natives of that specific place. But try telling that to British tourists who can’t understand why there are so many Spanish people in Spain. Nor can they accept that they don’t all speak English to a native level (via Tripadvisor).

One tourist wrote the following critical review: “We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers because they were all Spanish.” This would be hilarious if it wasn’t real but this is a real person who thought this. It’s ridiculous but also teetering on the level of dangerously stupid.

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No Sausages

Traveling to another country is a great opportunity to try new things and experience a different culture. However, some people want to transplant their way of life into a place with sunshine. Check out this British tourist’s opinion of their hotel in Turkey (via Tripadvisor).

“I know it’s a Muslim country, and that Muslims don’t like bacon or sausages, but we’re English, and we expect them at breakfast,” they moaned. This is amazingly disrespectful but they’re oblivious to this reality. Consider all of the hotel staff who deal with these types of people every year.

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Press Nine

The following review takes stupidity to a level that can be described as borderline dangerous. We can only assume that this person now requires daily supervision because this is exceptional. It’s standard for a hotel receptionist to tell a guest how to contact them from their room (via Mail Online).

Usually, they press a number on the in-room phone and it immediately connects. This individual didn’t understand this and wrote this criticism: “I couldn’t call reception from my cellphone. They told me I could just press nine but it didn’t work.”

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No Siesta

Many hot countries typically observe a siesta in the afternoon. They’ll take a nap and relax for half an hour because it’s the hottest point of the day. Maybe they wake up earlier too because it enables them to make the most of their waking hours (via Northern Echo).

However, one British tourist didn’t appreciate this and thought that Spain should adapt its culture to her shopping requirements. “It’s lazy of the local shopkeepers to close for a siesta in the afternoon,” she wrote. “I often need to buy things during siesta time – this should be banned.”

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No Bathroom Onboard – A Canoe

Adventure trips can be very fun because they get people out of their comfort zone. Some tourists enjoy kayaking or canoeing because they’re not too extreme. Everybody should know that these slender boats don’t have any facilities except a bench to sit on (via Ranker).

But one family didn’t understand what they were getting themselves into. They appeared to have bougie expectations and their experience disappointed them. “We went on a canoe trip,” they wrote. “But nobody told us there was no bathroom on board. We felt very disappointed.”

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Yellow Sand

A white, sandy beach is one of the most beautiful sights in the world. People dream of laying down their towels on the perfect surface. However, when one tourist arrived at a beach resort the sand wasn’t to her liking. She complained that it was white and not yellow as the brochure displayed.

“We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure,” she reviewed (via Huff Post). “Your brochure shows the sand as yellow, but it was white.” She must be the first person in the history of humanity to make this complaint. The white sand is generally more aesthetically pleasing than yellow and feels better too.

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No Good Animals

Safaris are a once-in-a-lifetime experience. But there is an element of luck involved because they’re very expensive. Rangers and tour companies warn that there are no guarantees that tourists will see all of the animals they want. Sometimes, they’ll see them all in one day or never see anything at all.

Unfortunately, one traveler had the latter experience. Even though the travel agency left a disclaimer about the chance some animals might now appear, they still complained. “I spent a week on safari and didn’t see any good animals,” they wrote (via Wanderlust). “There were only antelopes.”

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King-Size Bed Made You Pregnant?

Imagine trying to blame a hotel for the conception of a child. That’s exactly what one couple did after they couldn’t restrain their passion or use protection. They said it was the hotel’s fault because they received a double room instead of a twin room (via Daily Mail).

“My fiancee and I requested twin-beds when we booked but instead, you placed us in a room with a king-size bed,” they moaned. “We now hold you responsible and want to be reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you put us in the room that we booked.” Just….wow. It’s kind of tough to blame a hotel giving you a king-size bed for making you pregnant. Well, not for this strange person.

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No Custard Creams

British tourists still maintain an unfortunate reputation and it’s because of comments like this one. “I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts,” one critical traveler observed (via Sami).

It should be noted that they mean cookies and not the savory biscuits in the U.S. But it’s remarkable that people travel to another country and can’t understand that they don’t cater specifically to their nation’s weird obsessions. Somebody needs to educate them before they set foot on a plane.

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A Bunch of Rocks

Stonehenge is one of the most iconic landmarks in the U.K. This ancient site stood for thousands of years and is a remarkable location. But not everybody agrees or appreciates the history behind this extraordinary monument. They think that it’s overrated as though ancient builders constructed it for their amusement.

It’s a bunch of rocks… in a field. You’ll have to excuse the sarcasm, but the reality is that this is exactly what this ‘attraction’ is, you can’t even go up to them. Yes, there’s some historical background… but that can be said of plenty of other, far better attractions that our country has to offer” (via Somerset Live).

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Do Your Duty

Tour companies deal with a lot of stupid people but some of them are more unreasonable than others. Check out the following complaint where the tourists expected the organizers to do background checks. “It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel,” they wrote.

There is no way for a tour operator to know how somebody will act on a trip. Yes, they can try to resolve an issue and warn people to behave respectfully. However, they’re not omnipotent or capable of reading the future as this person thought (via Tripadvisor).

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The Great Wall

Visiting the Great Wall of China is the stuff of dreams for many people. They know that they’ll only do it once in their lifetimes and appreciate the opportunity. The wall is almost 3,000 years old and continues to stand the test of time. Naturally, some tourists still find something to complain about.

“I didn’t see the hype in this place, it’s really run down and old,” one reviewer wrote in a ridiculous statement. Another said that “it’s just a wall.” We’re not sure what else they were expecting because any Internet search would advise them about this reality (via China Highlights). The Great Wall is one of the more well-known marvels of the world and millions of people visit it each year because they regard it as such.

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Too Cloudy

Some people love the experience of flying in the air on a plane. For them, it’s one of the most exciting parts of the journey. They want to see the view of the land below but sometimes this isn’t possible. That’s not something that the pilot can control.

However, one critical reviewer didn’t understand why her flight suffered from bad weather. “My plane journey was a disappointment as the sky was too cloudy, obstructing my children’s view of the sea and ruining our game of eye-spy,” she wrote in a scathing review (via Horizon Times).

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Children Eat Free

Many restaurants offer special discounts or deals to entice customers to come inside. It’s relatively common for them to invite children to eat for free with their parents. Naturally, they only allow this up to a certain age because it would be too expensive.

One mother felt enraged when she dined with her daughter. She wrote: “The restaurant said ‘children eat free’ but my 19-year-old daughter still got charged for her meal.” No, we’re not making this up despite how much we’d love to say that people like this don’t exist in the real world (via Press Reader). This woman believed her daughter, who was over 18, should have been part of the restaurant’s “children eat free” promotion.

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Just A Big Hole In The Ground

The Grand Canyon is the most iconic natural tourist attraction in America. It is in Northern Arizona and spans a massive area with incredible views. But this is the 21st century so it stands to reason that somebody found something wrong with it (via Genial).

A critical reviewer couldn’t believe the reality of their experience. “It’s just a big hole in the ground,” they wrote. “It took me a long time to walk around it, downvoting until they build a bridge or something.” This is a real face-palm moment because this person didn’t deserve to see the Grand Canyon if this is what they thought of it. It is, was, and will continue to be one of the most respected and visited natural wonders in the U.S.

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Boredom

Another person had a ruthless response to the Louvre Museum in Paris. It’s the famous home of the Mona Lisa as well as dozens of other amazing artworks. However, not everybody appreciates art and history as the following review proves.

They wrote on Tripadvisor: “Musee du Louvre – bad. Short answer: boredâ€¦ Apparently, there are between 14 to 16 kilometers of boredom on offer at the Louvre. I could not do it.” Some visitors spend an entire week or even more admiring the historic pieces of art in the Louvre but this person couldn’t handle it for an hour.

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1Inadequate

Elephants are one of the most magnificent animals on the planet. They’re the biggest species of land mammal and possess amazing strength. Some tourists dream of seeing elephants in the wild in Asia or Africa. However, one person had a hilarious response to this (via Buxton Advertiser).

“Spotting the visibly aroused elephant ruined my honeymoon in Thailand by making me feel inadequate,” they wrote. This is a genuine review that somebody left on the Internet. This poor individual has a lot of insecurity and we hope that his new wife didn’t suffer the consequences.

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Skip The Line

It’s often a good idea to stump up extra cash to buy fast pass tickets for theme parks and museums. Otherwise, visitors will spend a long time standing in lines waiting to experience rides or exhibits. It can be very frustrating so it’s worth paying the difference (via Love Exploring).

However, one couple in Florence ignored their travel agents’ advice. Then they dared to leave a negative review: “They complained that there were queues at the Uffizi and I should have told themâ€¦ even though I had encouraged the client to pre-book the ‘skip the line’ tickets which I could do for him.” It seems like this couple wanted to save a few dollars but then realized they should have sprung to skip the lines. Then they decided to act as if they should have been told about it when their travel agent already did just that.

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Greedy Queen

The Queen of England is one of the most respected people on the planet. People travel from across the world to stand outside Buckingham Palace with the hope of seeing her in the window. But one tourist didn’t buy into the hype and thought that the queen was wasting space.

He wrote: “What’s the point of traveling to England to stand outside of Buckingham Palace. You can’t go in. Is the queen so greedy she needs all 77,000 square meters and can’t show off one of the grandest palaces in the world? (via Londonist)” That’s just not how it works, and anyone paying that much of their hard-earned money to visit it should most likely know that.

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Eiffel Tower

When people see pictures of the Eiffel Tower, they immediately think of Paris. The iconic tower is one of the city’s most visible and famous symbols. However, one visitor had a negative reaction when he saw the landmark in reality. He wrote: “More like an awful tower.”

We admire the cheesy pun to some degree, at least) but it’s safe to say that most people disagree with this. French novelist Guy De Maupassant also hated the tower and sat in its restaurant every day because he didn’t want to look at it. That’s a unique way to solve the problem (via The Vintage Times).

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Visit Siena

Siena is one of the most beautiful cities in Italy. It has everything that a visitor could wish to experience from beautiful architecture to delicious food. But one person didn’t appreciate this. She wrote: “There were far too many tourists and far too many Americans and British people.”

Naturally, she didn’t understand the irony of her comment because she was a tourist too. A tourist was complaining about too many tourists visiting the place where she was vacationing at. Oh, the irony. It’s funny how people don’t categorize themselves in the same way or consider the reality of their visit. Instead, she ruined her vacation through her pettiness (via FT).

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Where Are The Cages?

Yellowstone is the most visited national park in the U.S. because of its dramatic landscapes and diversity of animals. People dream of seeing buffalo and bears in the wilderness. Many of them love the idea of experiencing the great outdoors and seeing wildlife in its natural habitat.

But not everybody. “We had to cut our trip short to Yellowstone because we were informed that they don’t cage the animals at night for our protection,” one reviewer wrote. Somehow we don’t think any of the grizzly bears will shed any tears about this reality. These complaining tourists probably taste bitter anyway (via News.com).

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Scared Of Heights

These days, most jars of peanut butter contain allergy warnings because there are a lot of stupid people out there. But it turns out that hot air balloons also require this type of label. One person complained about their fear of heights after experiencing a ride.

“There was no sign telling you that you shouldn’t get in a hot air balloon if you’re afraid of heights,” they complained (via Third Eye Story). We probably don’t need to tell you that getting into a hot air balloon is a bad idea if you’re afraid of heights, but these people needed it. The reality is that the balloon should have pushed them out and done the world a favor. It would have been a case of survival of the fittest.

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No Ocean View

London is one of the most famous cities in the world with many remarkable landmarks. However, one thing that it doesn’t have is proximity to the ocean. It is about 50 miles from the sea so it requires a lengthy train journey. “Our London hotel didn’t have an ocean view,” one reviewer wrote (via Medium).

This reality wouldn’t have come as a surprise if they ever looked at a map and had even a basic understanding of geography. It’s amazing how foolish some people are but they’re also shameless. There is no excuse for this unless their hotel booking lied to them and said that their hotel had a sea view.

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Iglu Cruise

Iglu Cruise is one of the biggest cruise ship operators in Europe. They have numerous massive ships that offer journeys of a lifetime in different areas of the globe. It takes a certain type of person to enjoy a cruise but not everybody enjoys it (via The Guardian).

Most people complain about boredom but these reviewers had a different reaction. They wrote: “We usually come off our cruises having put on at least a stone in weight. We’ve come off this holiday having put on nothing at all. It’s just not good enough.” These vacationers apparently thought that weren’t well-fed enough throughout their holiday, but that’s just not what a cruise is about.

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No IG In Machu Picchu

It takes a lot of effort to get to Machu Picchu. First, people must travel across the world to Peru. Then they’ll hike through the wilderness to the famous ruins of the Incan city. Most visitors consider this to be a very spiritual experience and they embrace every aspect of it.

Nonetheless, there is always one moron who has a problem. One reviewer wrote: “It didn’t have Wi-Fi so I couldn’t upload my pictures to Instagram.” Maybe they were trolling but the reality is that people like this exist so it wouldn’t surprise us if it was true (via Chicago Tribune).

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No Skills Required

Rich white people love flying down mountainsides on fragile pieces of wood and they pay ridiculous sums of money to do just that around the world. Ski trips are the most common type of winter tourism and the lifeblood of many areas. It’s usually possible to take lessons before taking to the slopes for real. But some idiots didn’t realize that skiing was a key part of a skiing trip.

“We went on a skiing holiday but we weren’t informed that we would actually have to be able to ski,” they wrote. If this doesn’t make readers face-palm, we don’t know what will. It’s like going on a cruise without knowing that they’d be taking to the ocean (via The Chalet Company).

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Brighter Than England

The reality is that England experiences about one day of actual sun per year. However, some tourists don’t realize that other countries have scorching temperatures. It shouldn’t surprise anybody that Mexico has higher temperatures than the Nothern European island.

But this still rocked one U.K. visitor to Mexico. He wrote: “I got sunburned. They should warn you that the sun is brighter in Mexico than it is in England. I would have worn sun cream if I knew.” Every film involving Mexico has scenes of the desert and cacti (via Tripadvisor).

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Rainy Day

Many European tourists travel to Spain for their vacations because they think it offers guaranteed sunshine. In reality, the country also suffers from rain. Yes, the summers are usually hot but rain may set in at inconvenient times. This is out of the control of any tourist company.

Typically, one reviewer didn’t accept this and criticized the weather. “It rained,” they wrote. “We didn’t know that it rained in Spain.” We don’t know if they wanted the tour operator to wave their magic wand and make it go away. Or perhaps they thought they had a time machine (via Reddit). Maybe if you don’t know that it rains nearly everywhere around the world, you shouldn’t be traveling to another country.

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Too Cold

Every type of vacation is susceptible to inconvenient weather. The reality is that some ski resorts suffer from late snow or, in the worst case, none at all. This can damage their business prospects significantly as travelers won’t come. Another visitor had a strange reaction to the conditions.

“It was far too cold on our skiing holiday,” they moaned. Here is another example of somebody with far too much time on their hands. Perhaps the government should restrict some people’s access to the internet because this is one of the dumbest reviews ever (via Ski Solutions).

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Too Ugly

Tour guides have a tough job because they are responsible for the happiness of an entire group. They also must maintain order and ensure that everybody sticks together. Usually, it’s nice to tip the guide after an enjoyable tour because it’s not easy.

But one reviewer said that their guide ruined the trip. “We could not enjoy the tour as our guide was too ugly,” they wrote. “You can’t admire a beautiful view when you’re staring at a face like his” (via Tripadvisor). In reality, they had a terrible attitude and we feel sorry for their guide.

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No Tan

Most people love to travel to the beach or a sunny resort because they want to catch some rays. Maybe they’ll lie on the beach or beside the pool. They’ll dip in and out of the water throughout the day and have a great time. But not everybody agrees with this (via Healthline).

Another travel critic had a bad experience and wanted to share. “We were told we would get a great tan, but we stayed inside all day and didn’t get one,” they wrote. This one may take the cake for outright stupidity. How did they expect to get a tan? Did they think the resort provided them to guests through osmosis in their room? The biggest question is whether they practice being disconnected from all reality or if it comes naturally to them?

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