Home Money Consciousness 35 Useless Products That People Actually Buy For Some Reason
Money Consciousness

35 Useless Products That People Actually Buy For Some Reason

Darren RydingFebruary 18, 2022

These days, everybody wants to find life hacks and shortcuts. As a result, there’s a whole industry of entrepreneurs trying to exploit lazy, unwitting people who don’t do their research. Due to that, there are now a whole bunch of useless products available that consumers actually buy for some reason.

Some of these would make funny novelty gifts but otherwise serve no real-life function. But it’s amazing the ideas that inventors come up with. It’s safe to say that nobody will want the patent for some of these appalling items, yet you can still have some fun with them. Check out the list below via Bored Panda.

Ali Express

35. Giant Enter Key

Let’s kick this list of useless products off with this giant enter key. We have no idea why anybody would want this item, let alone need it. In short, it’s a functional button with a USB attachment. Simply plug it into a computer and it works like a standard enter button.

Maybe this is good for people who send angry emails. But otherwise, it’s difficult to think of a viable reason to use this product. It would make a fun novelty gift for office workers because they wouldn’t know what to do with it either (via Amazon).

GearJunkie

34. Walking Sleeping Bag

This terrifying creation appears to be a Japanese invention. There’s an element of practicality because it allows people to walk around without exiting their sleeping bags. However, there’s one fatal flaw. That’s because it will instantly traumatize children for life.

It may be extremely comfortable but it’s also very creepy. Horror movie directors will see this and feel inspiration because it’s so weird. Perhaps diehard campers will disagree but this is a creation that the world didn’t need (via N.Y. Times).

Popsugar

33. Ropeless Jump Rope

Here’s another invention that nobody realized that they needed. This creation is a jump rope but without a rope. But its makers don’t realize that it can’t be a jump rope. That’s because it’s missing the key element that defines this classic item.

Instead, they provide a pair of weighted handles. Users should swing them in the same manner as a jump rope while bouncing up and down. The idea is that people can exercise in hotel rooms or places with obstacles and low ceilings (via Economic Times).

Mirror

32. Goldfish Walker

One of the beautiful things about this world is that there are all kinds of people out there. In the U.K., Mike Warren-Madden invented one of the most bizarre items ever. He created the goldfish walker because he felt so attached to his aquatic friend (via The Mirror).

He claimed that his fish Malcolm enjoyed an unusually long life because of his daily adventures. Warren-Madden even designs custom-built goldfish walkers for prospective buyers. However, there probably isn’t a large market for these useless products.

True Activist

31. Noodle Fan

Ramen is one of the world’s most popular foods. However, the hot broth can burn people’s mouths. But don’t worry, there’s a solution out there. One enterprising genius came up with the noodle fan. It’s an attachment that clips onto chopsticks.

Meanwhile, the fan cools the noodles as they lift into the air. There may be one inherent flaw with this product. That’s because the fan could blow broth everywhere. Fellow diners won’t enjoy soup splattering their clothes because of the noodle fan (via Culture Map).

Fubiz

30. Butter Stick

It’s almost amazing that this isn’t already a mainstream item. Butter sticks are available to buy. In theory, they make it easier to spread across the bread. Most people use a knife for this task instead of a specialized spreader. But perhaps they’re making lives more difficult (via Trend Hunter).

These instantly become useless products if the refrigerator is too cold. That’s because the butter will mangle the soft bread. Maybe somebody should invent a butter melter because this is a more pressing issue. Anyway, if people want a stick of grease, then they’re available.

Beloved

29. Hairy Swimsuit

Many outlets like to claim that ladies love dad bods. Now women can enjoy their dad bod, but without the risks of high blood pressure. That’s because they can purchase one-piece swimsuits with a male hair chest print on the front.

According to Huffington Post, this is genius because it desexualizes women. That’s possible but it’s also more likely to cause people to stare at them. These useless products make ridiculous gifts. But it’s difficult to imagine people wanting to wear one.

roll-lux

28. Black Toilet Paper

Toilet paper is something that everybody takes for granted. It’s in almost every home but we don’t realize how important it is until we run out. However, there was recently a trend where celebrities bought luxury black toilet paper (via Daily Mail).

This is unsettling because everybody expects white toilet paper. Imagine if the sun was blue. It just wouldn’t feel right because it’s not! Furthermore, this is one of the world’s most useless products, because how do you know if you’re really clean?

trail4runner

27. Seatbelt Buckle Opener

Seatbelt alarms are annoying but there’s an easy solution. Simply put on your seatbelt. However, this wasn’t enough for one individual who came up with another answer. The seatbelt buckle with bottle opener is one of the world’s most dangerous and useless products.

This multifunctional tool will trick cars into thinking the seatbelt is on. Meanwhile, users can open their beverage of choice while driving. What could go wrong with this? It seems like only a matter of time before this accessory becomes illegal (via UBuy).

Cool Things

26. Pimple-Popping Simulator

These days people are constantly searching for new ways to destress. We get it, the world is a hectic place and sometimes becomes too much. Any squeamish readers should look away now because things are about to become gross (via Buzzfeed).

This horrible product is a pimple-popping simulator. Users squeeze the item to force yellow gunk out of the holes. This is one of the most divisive items here. Some people will love it because they have a bizarre fascination with squeezing spots.

CNet

25. Fried Chicken Phone Case

There’s no denying this is a talking point. But otherwise it’s one of the most useless products in the history of the universe. We’re not entirely sure why anybody would want to attach a piece of fake fried chicken to their cellphone.

People will stop and stare before shaking their heads in disgust. Or even worse, they may try to steal the chicken and eat it. However, this is a pointless item because it doesn’t protect the phone. After all, that’s the purpose of a phone case (via Texas Hill C24ountry).

Junk Banter

24. Cookies and Cream Oreos

Oreos are one of the world’s most popular sweet snacks. The traditional black and white cookies have a vanilla flavor. However, Nabisco occasionally releases limited-edition versions like ‘jelly donut’ and ‘caramel apple’. But one of the most perplexing was their ‘cookies and cream’ edition.

These are already cookies with a cream filling. Nabisco simply created new packaging but didn’t change the flavor. It was so blatant and bizarre because everybody knew what they did. Of course, some morons bought them anyway (via Consumerist).

SF Gate

23. Microclimate Helmet

These days everybody wants to protect themselves from killer viruses. Now, people with too much money can find new ways to waste it by buying the microclimate helmet. According to the SF Gate, this PPE retails for $299 because it has HEPA 11 filters.

In short, it’s a cross between a motorcycle helmet and a fishbowl. This is one of the world’s most ludicrous products because it’s so big and cumbersome. No doubt there will be somebody who thinks it’s a great idea but it belongs on this list.

Red Bubble

22. Wacky Shower Curtains

The world of shower curtains is a strange rabbit hole to go down. There are so many wild designs available but who wants these? To be fair, the above image is epic. A bear stands on the back of a shark while firing a submachine gun (via Wayfair).

However, it’s hardly the most tasteful accessory for any home. Other bizarre shower curtain prints include pole dancing sloths, bloody handprints, and creepy cats. Most people want functional curtains that don’t draw attention but there’s a market.

Peewee

21. Garbage Can Pants

This is another obvious entry on our list of useless products. It may come as a surprise to the creator of this accessory but garbage cans don’t need pants. Sure, they spend a lot of time outdoors but they’re inanimate objects (via Laughing Squid).

However, somebody decided that there was a niche in the market. They created a range of garbage can pants with the most popular being these denim jeans. They’re also available in camo for any hillbillies out there. What a world we live in.

Technologizer

20. I Am Rich App

This app was available for a single day on the iStore in 2008. It’s remarkably similar to the concept of modern-day NFTs but Apple threw it out quickly. The designer valued the downloadable app at almost $1000. However, the only thing it did was glow red, with the slogan “I am rich.”

Recently, internet users revived it as a screensaver for iPhones. While there is something remarkably cynical about it, there’s no doubt people would buy it. Yes, it’s one of the most useless products ever conceived. But at least it was self-aware (via TOI).

Digital Boom

19. SMART Straw

The straw is a simple item. In short, it’s a long, narrow cylinder with a hole down its length. Suck through the straw and fluid will rise via suction. Most conversations about straws these days relate to cutting down plastic waste. Then, McDonald’s became involved.

They invented the Suction Tube for Reversal Axial Withdrawal or STRAW. This special version of the everyday item was designed to suck the perfect ratio of milkshakes. They marketed their accessory like an Apple product but with far less success (via Insider).

Today

18. Food Cubby

Some people hate it when their food is touching. This is a real thing but there’s an easy fix. Most diners will simply separate their vegetables by placing them in a side dish. However, we’re living in 2022 and there’s always another way (via Delish).

It’s now possible to buy dividers for dinner plates. The Food Cubby is a registered brand that creates brightly colored segments for picky eaters. But these useless products don’t prevent liquid from seeping through. Also, they still require cleaning after.

RaphNet

17. Tetris 64 Biosensor

Tetris 64 is one of Nintendo’s classic videogames. The company likes to test the boundaries of technology. For example, recently they came out with the Wii Vitality Sensor. However, this wasn’t their first foray into biotech. That honor goes to the Biosensor (via Alchetron).

In short, this enabled players to control Tetris with their heartbeat. Of course, this didn’t work well in practice because they were useless products. These days they are collector’s items because they’re very rare. That’s because most people threw them in the garbage.

Sears

16. Wrist-Strap Dry/Erase Board

Perhaps we’re missing something here. Maybe DIY enthusiasts have discovered the most useful product of all time. However, there’s something about this dry/erase board with a wrist strap that seems ridiculous. What happens if the wearer’s sleeve wipes it away?

It’s also extremely clunky so surely it would impede the user’s ability to work. Furthermore, it looks idiotic. Why not just use sticky notes so that there’s no risk of getting pen ink everywhere. There are strange items out there but this is one of them (via Office Depot).

Wired Bugs

15. USB Pet Rock

There’s no reason for this item to exist except for the fact that it does. Yes, it’s a rock with a cable and a USB stick. But what does it do? According to the manufacturer, just plug it in and find out. The short answer is absolutely nothing (via Cafe Tek).

It comes with a nice box and the rock is aesthetically pleasing. But it serves no function except to make people ask what it is. Attention seekers will love this item because it’s eye-catching. Otherwise, it’s one of the most useless products money can buy.

ZoodMall

14. Babytooth Saver

Some parents find it cute to save their infants’ baby teeth. Then they forget about them for decades before finding them in a random box. One company decided to take advantage of this market. They created the Baby Saver, one of the creepiest items ever.

The outside of the box has a disturbing baby’s face. Inside are small indents like a child’s mouth. Simply place the specific tooth into the marked sections. But don’t be surprised when child services take your baby away because there’s something off about this (via Pambo).

DHGate

13. American Flag Pants

Nothing says freedom like a pair of American Flag pants. Every year, people love to wear flag apparel around Independence Day. However, this is technically offensive. According to U.S. Flag conduct, the flag shouldn’t feature on clothing or sports uniforms.

Therefore, making a pair of pants like this may offend some diehards. Most people will find the garish design more atrocious than the meaning behind them. It’s a hideous piece of clothing that can’t be burnt because it’s a U.S. flag (via Romper).

Amino Apps

12. Diet Water

Sapporo is one of the most popular producers of Japanese beer. The company also sells water but made headlines for its eye-catching marketing ploy. They advertised their H2O as ‘diet water.’ To make it clear, regular water doesn’t have any calories or sugar.

Sure, there are specialty bottles out there like alkaline or volcanic spring water. But diet water has nothing special about it except for its label. No doubt some customers waste their money on these useless products (Free Dieting).

WineOvation

11. Wine Gun

There’s a type of person who will think that this is the most epic kitchen accessory ever. A wine gun is a special tool that opens bottles easily. Simply store the wine gun in its holster on the counter. Simultaneously, normalize gun use in your household.

No doubt somebody will accidentally pick up a real pistol and blow their bottle of wine to smithereens. The wine gun is available in pink and black because its makers want to be inclusive. It’s a ridiculous item but it’s widely available for online purchase (via WineOvation).

Techeblog

10. Epic YouTube Book

This book is easy to find in stores like Target as well as online sellers. Imagine spending an afternoon reading about 150 of the best YouTube videos ever. There’s an obvious flaw with this contribution to the American literary canon (via Love Reading).

Readers could simply go on YouTube and watch the most popular videos. Or they could search for an online list that recommends appropriate clips to watch. To be fair, this book has scannable QR codes so readers can search for the videos. But otherwise, it’s one of the most useless products ever.

The Green Head

9. Ham Dogger

These days there is a kitchen accessory for everything. Ham Dogger is a company that sells the perfect hot dog patty maker. Or at least that’s what they say because it’s not exactly rocket science. It’s a mold with a long sausage-shaped insert for the ground meat (via Kitchen Niche).

However, hot dogs aren’t the most complicated food item. This doesn’t save home chefs from touching the meat either. That’s because they still need to squeeze it together to put it into the Ham Dogger. It’s a gimmick and one of the most useless products ever.

Zedomax

8. Camo Golf Balls

Most golf balls are white. Sometimes they’re even vibrant yellow or other bright colors. That’s because it makes them easy to find. It’s also why this is one of the dumbest and most useless products in the history of mankind. Camo golf balls don’t make any sense.

Imagine hitting these balls into an area of long grass. How would anybody find them? These aren’t cheap knock-offs either. Major brands like Wilson are producing camo golf balls. It’s a ridiculous idea but perhaps it appeals to hillbillies (via WSFA 12).

Xperia

7. JackPen

These days everybody is looking for life hacks and shortcuts. Unfortunately, this sometimes takes people to places where they didn’t need to go. One of these is the JackPen. This is an iPhone attachment that turns it into a functioning pen (via Engadget).

It inserts into the headphone port which isn’t realistic for newer models. Also, the shape of a phone is so cumbersome that it’s difficult to write neatly. Perhaps users can scribble a signature. But it probably costs a fortune and is one of the phone industry’s most useless accessories.

Snow Sleds Direct

6. Snowball Maker

In the good old days, people picked up snow in their bare hands. They rolled it into a ball and chucked it at each other. It’s a simple and pure game that has existed for centuries. As long as people have existed they’ve had snowball fights.

That’s why there is no need for a device like a snowball maker. Who cares if the ball is perfectly symmetrical? It’s going to melt in a few moments anyway or explode off somebody’s head. Snowball makers take the fun out of a great tradition.

Amazon

5. Uber Hood

Cycling in the rain isn’t fun. The easiest way to avoid an unwanted shower is to wear a waterproof poncho and gaiters. Many people dismount from their bicycles and walk during a downpour because they don’t take as much of a soaking (via The Piano Cyclist).

Uber Hood is a clip-on umbrella for bicycles. It may be useful on a sunny day because it can provide shade. However, it won’t stop rain from striking the cyclist’s body so it’s a useless product in this regard. Just get off the bike and use a regular umbrella.

Yahoo Finance

4. Electric Shock Bracelet

Most dog lovers agree that electric collars are unethical and cruel. However, Pavlok invented an electric bracelet that serves a similar function for humans. Users can program the wristband to shock them when they engage in a bad habit (via N.Y. Post).

This could include falling asleep at the wheel or eating junk food. It’s not the healthiest way to deal with a personal problem. Pavlok sells this item for $200 online. There’s a market for it because some big media outlets have covered it.

Tiki

3. Banana Slicer

Bananas aren’t exactly the most difficult fruit to slice. They’re essentially soft tubes of mush. However, there are several varieties of banana slicers on the market. This version above shares a resemblance to a medieval torture device (via Level Up Baking).

Furthermore, they’re impractical except for patisserie bakers. However, ordinary chefs don’t need these useless products because they’re inefficient. Cleaning them takes much longer than simply chopping a banana with a regular knife.

Konga

2. Wii Cooking Kitchen Utensils

Nintendo created a wide range of ridiculous accessories for the Wii games console. One of their most useless products was the Wii Wings. This fragile fabric item feels cheap and ridiculous. But even wackier is the Wii Cooking Mama Pa and Utensils.

This is like a Swiss Army Knife of cheap plastic kitchen items. They weren’t popular because they were loose and clunky. It felt like they were about to fall apart. In the end, Nintendo gave up on this line because nobody wanted to waste their money on them (via The Gamer).

The Sun

1. Backless Turtleneck Sweater

This striking dress went viral in Japan and made a star of model Jun Amaki. Designers make the dress from wool. It has a turtleneck front but a low-cut back. They call it the ‘virgin-killer’ because it sends nerdy men into a frenzy (via The Sun).

However, from a practical perspective, it’s one of the most useless products ever. What’s the point in wasting all of that wool when the wearer’s back will freeze. Yes, some people will find it attractive but the fashion statement comes at a cost.

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