1. Too Fast
Here is the king of ridiculous complaints courtesy of Redditor fludru. “I once had a customer complain about me because I answered emails too fast. You see, because he got responses within just a couple of minutes every time he’d ask for tech support, he assumed it was a chat session. Even though he was, you know, emailing us, and each ticket sent an auto-response indicating, “Thanks for your email, you’ll get a response in 1 business day or less, our hours are X to Y”, etc. When we left for the day after sending a response to one of his messages, he was incensed because he felt I abandoned our’ chat session’.”
This is where it got very weird. “I indicated that this was an email thread and not chat. We can only respond during our office hours; he said I was maliciously misleading him into thinking we were chatting. How? By intentionally responding to him too quickly. (I am not sure why I guess, out of some perverse pleasure.) Therefore, we hurt his business and owed him damages when we didn’t immediately respond at any time. Fortunately, my company isn’t pants-on-head stupid about this kind of thing, so I didn’t have to worry about it.” This service was too good, and because this customer doesn’t know the difference between a chat and email, he thought they must pay him.