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Biting Back: The Most Savage Restaurant Clapbacks For Online Critics

Darren January 16, 2024

In today’s digital age, there’s a ‘special’ type of person who revels in posting bad restaurant reviews after dining out. Most people won’t bother unless they’ve had an unusually bad experience. But some customers lie and exaggerate because they want free food or have an evil agenda. But some restaurants just won’t take it and have savage clapbacks for their online critics.

They don’t care about insulting their clientele because they’ve had enough. One bad review can disproportionally impact a restaurant’s rating and affect their business so it’s reasonable. Sometimes restaurant owners take things into their own hands and call out lies or even throw caution to the wind and unleash their fury. We found several such instances and they’re quite entertaining, to say the least. Check out these savage clapbacks now via Takeaway Trauma.

Super Spider

Chinese restaurants can be ruthless in their reactions to bad reviews. The following exchange is a classic of the genre. One customer claimed that she found a spider in her food and shared this with the Internet. The only thing worse than her meal was her grammar because it’s garbage.

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The restaurant reacted with one of the most savage clapbacks ever. Comparing the rumored spider in the food to Spiderman is brutal but hilarious. This is one of the situations where it’s difficult to know who is right or wrong. Nonetheless, the restaurant won the hearts of the Internet with this hilarious reply (via Instagram).

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Get A Test

Another restaurant owner had a cold response to a customer’s complaints about their dishes. The reviewer claimed that their food didn’t have any flavor. This isn’t something that anybody wants people to say about their food because it’s not good for business. That’s why they responded with one of the most savage clapbacks ever.

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We love their fake concern about the customer’s health status. Telling them to take a test in a show of faux solidarity is brilliant because it’s also so insulting. This is one of the best passive-aggressive reactions that we’ve read. They did a brilliant job with this spicy reply (via Demilked).

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Exposed Liar

Some customers make it their business to lie about their restaurant experiences. Often they’re trying to bully businesses into giving them free food or rewards. It’s unfair because the restaurant loses money and risks its reputation. But these amoral people don’t care because they’re selfish.

Ardo’s Fried Chicken had one of the most savage clapbacks ever when a customer reportedly lied about their food. The joint said that the aggrieved customer first called and said that their fries were missing. We love how they exposed the truth and showed that this person was being vindictive (via Bored Panda).

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The Folded Pizza

Sometimes we order food in a restaurant or takeout but we don’t receive what we expect. Maybe we had an image in our heads of what it would be like or had an authentic version in another country. It’s disappointing but we learn from it and order something else from the restaurant next time.

Jenny ordered a calzone without realizing it was a folded pizza. Then she complained about it before the restaurant set the record straight. She left a brutal and rude review about the pizza joint. They deserve credit for their reaction because they exposed the facts. It’s hilarious that their somewhat sarcastic politeness is almost rude (via Instagram).

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Hello Neighbor

This is one of the weirdest reviews we’ve included on this list because it doesn’t make any sense. As we can see below, the reviewer wrote ‘bad’ and left a single star. They don’t include any information about their experience in the pizza restaurant. But the takeout responded with one of the most savage clapbacks ever.

Eaten At Our Restaurant Are Our Neighbor At Paris Jeweler Btw Nice 5 Star Review Gave Yourself — Cheezburger

This is a brutal response because it reveals the truth of the situation. It’s so strange because they’re neighboring businesses but not competitors. Why would a jeweler leave a pointless negative review about a pizzeria they’ve never visited? Now it will be awkward every time they walk past each other (via Cheezburger).

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Hope You’re OK

We love it when a restaurant owner has the moral high ground. One customer left a bad review about her order but she didn’t expect them to reply with one of the most savage clapbacks ever. She complained that the delivery was late and that she didn’t receive what she ordered.

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Grill King exposed the truth as they told her the delivery came on time. Then they revealed that the driver discovered her vomiting outside her house. It’s nice to see that Lily kept it classy. We don’t know what was going through her head or why she decided to leave this ridiculous review (via News.com).

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Alcoholics Anonymous

Here’s one of the most savage clapbacks ever. Some restaurants know that replying to bad reviews is good for business. Others don’t care about that but they’ll leave crushing responses anyway. It’s probably that this one falls into the second category because they don’t care about insulting customers.

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It’s hilarious that their go-to response for criticism is the AA phone number. To be fair, the customer appears to be in the right situation here because they left a balanced review with two stars. They probably didn’t expect the business to reply again but we’re glad that they did (via Instagram).

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Cook Yourself

Here’s another example of someone sharing their disappointment about an Indian restaurant. Most people wouldn’t write a review if they didn’t like the food. Usually, people say that it wasn’t great and that they wouldn’t go back. But there are unreasonable humans on the Internet.

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That’s why it’s always funny when restaurants leave savage clapbacks. Tandoori Kitchen’s owner decided that sarcasm was the best response and they pulled it off with aplomb. This was a brutal burn with more spice than a vindaloo curry. The Internet also loved this because it was so cold (via Instagram).

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No Salad

Some reviews are incredibly unreasonable and the authors should look at themselves in the mirror. This person is a good example of this because they left a one-star review for the most ridiculous reason. In short, they asked for no salad and then had a meltdown when there was no onion.

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The burger joint owner had a reasonable response. It’s fair to say that they had the moral high ground here and that the reviewer was insanely unreasonable. Maybe they were having a bad day and this was a moment of poor judgment. But they don’t deserve to enjoy delicious food after this (via Instagram).

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Mischievous Charlie

This is one of the funniest replies we’ve ever seen. Charlie left a basic three-word review about their dining experience. As we can see below they wrote: ‘Food was disgusting!’ It’s interesting that they still left a three-star review so the atmosphere must have been good.

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This is a golden reply though because it’s so pleasant. The restaurant owner told him not to be ‘mischievous’ in one of the most savage clapbacks ever. It’s such a silly reaction but that’s why it’s so satisfying. Meanwhile, it makes us want to try those halloumi fries because they seem delicious (via Instagram).

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You Predator

To say that this review response escalates quickly is the understatement of the century. It goes from zero to one hundred at the speed of light because the restaurant had no mercy. The customer claimed that they had a bad experience in a Japanese restaurant as they complained about the ramen.

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But then the owner responded with violence as we can see above. We’ve no way to confirm or deny their response but it’s one of the most savage clapbacks ever. They brutalized the reviewer as they described him as a predator. If the customer did molest a staff member then they deserve the callout they got (via Instagram).

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Vegetarian Munch Box

This restaurant issued a clinical response to a customer who left a ridiculous review. Carrie complained that her Munch Box didn’t contain the items that they advertised. Meanwhile, she also took issue with the price that she paid for her order. But the restaurant left the world in no doubt who was right.

Screenshot 2024 01 08 At 15.08.51 — Ruin My Week

The first sentence is one of the best things we’ve ever read. It eviscerates her argument because it makes her look like a moron. Imagine moaning about the fact that a vegetarian box doesn’t have meat in it. This is one of the dumbest statements ever and she deserves a healthy dose of food poisoning (via Ruin My Week).

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Salty And Small

Inflation is affecting every industry across the world. Restaurant owners have many overheads including electricity, fuel costs, and their staff’s wages. It’s very expensive to run a business and that’s why some items may seem expensive. However, one customer didn’t get the memo when they left a one-star review.

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They complained about their salty and small pita but didn’t expect an equally salty reply. It seems like the restaurant owner was ready to explode with rage because they left one of the most savage clapbacks. We enjoyed how they wished them a lovely night too because this was a great sarcastic touch (via Instagram).

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Stay Away

Chinese and Indian takeouts are a goldmine for savage clapbacks because owners don’t care. They constantly leave ruthless replies and don’t worry about losing customers. The reality is that they’ll always do reasonably well if they’re in the right location because they’re so convenient.

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One customer complained about their order and said that they only went there because their usual takeout wasn’t open. Oriental Express replied with a brutal message for the person that made us laugh out loud. It’s hilarious because it’s so brutal and they showed how little they care (via Rota Cloud).

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Behave Yourself

We love how some restaurants show no chill when they respond to their customers. Ellis claimed that their slushy didn’t have any flavor. The owner reacted with venom as well as the perfect choice of words. They tell Ellis ‘Behave yourself’ in one of the most savage clapbacks ever.

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This restaurant bombarded him until there was nothing left except scorched earth. It’s a magnificent tirade that shows how little patience they have for annoying customers. The final statement is the cherry on top because it’s perfect. As a dessert shop, they know how to apply that sweet finish (via Instagram).

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Makes No Sense

This long-suffering British takeaway owner is having a tough time. They had no problem destroying a reviewer after they claimed that everything was ‘trash.’ The takeout noted that ‘Sam’ still gave them three stars despite describing everything as garbage. This was a strange decision that didn’t make much sense.

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Then they went on a rant about it being a difficult year for potatoes so criticising them would be fair. It’s a strange diversion and it shows that their mind might not be where it should be. This is a bizarre exchange from beginning to end but one that amused the Internet (via Instagram).

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Burnt Nan

This person ordered a kebab from takeout in the UK. However, the lack of meat annoyed them and they claimed that the naan bread was burnt. But they didn’t realize that they made one of the most unfortunate spelling mistakes in history. This also gave the takeout owner a glorious opportunity.

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‘Nan’ is a common British colloquialism for a granny so it was perfect. This was one of the best comebacks ever and the Internet loved it. The owner masterfully combined sarcasm with fake concern as they claimed the moral high ground. They deserve a Michelin Star for their wit (via Instagram).

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Eat Pig Food

This reviewer has a history of saying mean things about restaurants. But it seems like they might have a point in this case. They described the owner of this Chinese restaurant as a horrible, nasty person. Most restaurant owners wouldn’t appreciate this because they might think that it’s bad for business.

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However, as we can see from the reply above, the House of Chin owner comes from a different school. He owned his nastiness and issued one of the most savage clapbacks ever. The lack of grammar and pidgin English makes it even better. Kudos to him for his ruthless reaction, we guess (via Instagram).

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Use Your Hands

It’s hilarious when restaurants show that they don’t care. Some of them are all about providing customer service and maintaining a five-star rating. Others don’t worry about these things and focus on churning out cheap food for the drunken masses. This person didn’t get the memo about the latter point.

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The fast-food joint didn’t care about his feelings and disparagingly responded. We can see that they told him to use his hands to eat rice in a brilliant reply. Calling him ‘bro’ was also a nice touch because it was overfamiliar and threw salt in a fresh wound. We’re glad that he’s not a doctor though because his bedside manner would be questionable (via Instagram).

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Already Death

Here’s another Chinese restaurant review that backfired badly. A customer complained about their noodles and said that they tasted like they came from a packet. Meanwhile, they described that it was the worst Chinese food they’ve eaten in their life. Check out the full statement below because it’s passionate.

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But the Phoenix Chef Chinese Takeaway owner didn’t care. “You already death,” is one of the coldest comebacks ever. Yes, it’s not semantically correct but that makes it even better as far as we’re concerned. It also won the hearts of Internet users who loved the dubious turn of phrase (via Instagram).

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Biriyani Woes

We’re all about multiculturalism and people expanding their horizons. However, it’s also important to understand what we’re ordering before writing a review about how it’s bad. Unfortunately, Mick didn’t get this memo because he complained that a biryani was dry. It wasn’t the curry that he was looking for and he made a horrible comparison.

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The Indian restaurant responded in a classier fashion and observed that he didn’t order a curry. A Biryani is a delicious rice dish with various mixed ingredients. Yes, it has curry powder but it doesn’t have a gravy. Mick demonstrated his lack of culture with his dumb review (via Instagram).

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Free The Turtles

These days more restaurants are trying to be environmentally friendly. It’s a moral responsibility and it’s also good for business because customers appreciate it. But sometimes plastic is unavoidable. However, one person claimed that they found plastic in their food. Then they ranted about how the restaurant wasn’t turtle-friendly.

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The restaurant probably shouldn’t be using plastic like this. But the other side is that this is an unbearable customer who makes us want to purge the ocean of turtles. We’ve nothing against turtles as a species, it’s just that this is an annoying person. In the end, the restaurant won with one of the most savage clapbacks (via Instagram).

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Steven The Monster

It’s always funny when a restaurant makes things personal after a customer leaves a bad review. Steven wrote a brutal review about this kebab shop and described it as ‘food poisoning in a pitta bread.’ This is a funny description and his points appear to be valid. But spoiler: the restaurant owner didn’t think so.

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This is one of the most savage clapbacks ever. Steven doesn’t need to worry about food poisoning anymore because this takeout destroyed him. The owner showed no mercy because it was like Kim Jong Un using an artillery gun to perform executions. Poor Steven is probably still crying about this one (via Instagram).

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Hair In Food

One reviewer said that they had an awful experience after they ate an Indian curry. They wrote that they found a hair in the sauce and then they got food poisoning. Hilariously, the restaurant didn’t deny this but took a golden opportunity to insult their customer. This is more important than providing good service.

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To be fair to the diner, we don’t know at what stage of the meal they discovered the hair. Nor do they detail how long it was. But it’s funny how little the owner appears to care about the situation. Imagine the reviewer’s reaction after they read this harrowing reply (via Instagram).

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Call The Police

Here’s another classic example of a restaurant owner proving that they don’t care about providing customer service. This person claimed that they ordered and prepaid for their meal. However, an hour passed and they never received it. Then the restaurant didn’t respond to their calls.

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Most restaurants would apologize profusely and say that they had technical problems. Then they’d probably offer them a free order to make up for their bad experience. However, we can see that this owner didn’t go down this route. Instead, he advised Aby to call the police (via Instagram).

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Get A Life

Some people make it their life purpose to leave reviews about everywhere they visit. The following person is a classic example because he left almost 60 reviews and included many photos. It’s a sad state of existence when someone decides to review their wait for a slice of toast and jam.

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This cafe agreed and duly told Peter to get a life. The comments were a goldmine because people thought this was one of the most savage clapbacks ever. It’s also a good lesson for many people who choose to leave reviews about restaurants. Think before deciding to destroy a business (via Instagram).

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Two-Minute Walk

Two things on this planet turn people into demons. The first is a dodgy internet connection while late food deliveries are the second. This person decided that they weren’t happy with persistent late deliveries and made their feelings clear online. Unfortunately, they didn’t expect one of the most savage clapbacks.

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It seems like Phil needs to get off the couch and walk over to the restaurant. It might make his life much happier because he won’t have to worry about late deliveries ever again. Another benefit is that he’ll save a few dollars from his order. It’s a simple solution but people are incredibly lazy nowadays (via Instagram).

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Five Percent

This person’s Chinese takeout experience was so bad that it compelled them to leave a review. Matt thought that he was taking revenge against the restaurant with his brutal description. He dramatically claimed that he wished he could leave a lower rating than the minimum one star.

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However, the takeout rubbed salt into his wounds with this magical response. We’re sure he meant that he took a mouthful or two of food before throwing it in the garbage can. But then they humiliated him by showing they didn’t have a care in the world. It’s glorious and we’re sure Matt fumed after he read it (via Instagram).

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No Customer Service Skills

One reviewer named Helen left a disparaging description of her shocking customer service experience. She claimed that the takeout worker answered her call rudely and that the food was horrible. It’s a harsh evaluation but she may have a point as the owner proved with one of the most savage clapbacks ever.

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We admire how he has zero problems admitting that he hates people. Insulting her lifestyle while explaining that it’s not a sitdown restaurant is phenomenal (via Instagram). The final word is the cherry on the icing because it seals the deal. Sometimes we love the Internet.

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Horrible Man

Finally, let’s look at one of the most petty retorts we’ve ever seen on the Internet. It’s simultaneously dumb but hilarious. A reviewer described their horrible experience. They said that the service was disgusting and that they dealt with a ‘horrible man.’ Check out the restaurant owner’s reaction.

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This is glorious because Alishia is a woman’s name. It’s so ridiculous but this is the type of content that we’re here for. Internet users also relished this wonderfully unprofessional reply. This belongs in a special category of restaurant owner reactions because it is so effective (via Instagram).

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