Moran Cerf, a neuroscientist at Northwestern University has conducted research for more than 10 years on decision making in human beings. And the number one factor for human happiness and success is the people you choose to spend most of your time with. There are two main reasons Cerf believes the company you keep is the most important choice for long-term satisfaction.
First, he says that people only have a limited amount of energy for decision making every day. And many studies have concluded that everyone has a finite reserve of decision making mental energy. So, as you make decisions like what clothes to wear, where to eat and what music to listen to, you deplete these reserves. Cerf takes this first belief so seriously, he never mulls over menu options when he goes out to eat. He just orders whatever is second on the list of specials.
Second, Cerf says that people tend to overvalue the amount of happiness they get by making those choices. Many humans believe they can control their happiness by making the right choices, even the relatively minor ones. The problem with this lies in psychology. Although you may think you are rational, decision making is full of cognitive biases that cloud your rational judgement.
Cerf says one choice that has a profound impact on your happiness and level of control is who you choose to spend your time with. His has found that when two people are in each other’s presence, their brain waves start to synchronize. In fact, in high-resolution brain scans, they begin to look almost identical. However, this mirror neuron phenomenon is what allows people to empathize with and understand each other.
Your mind essentially assumes the form of the minds of those around you. So, this has incredibly relevant implications for the quality and trajectory of your life. If you need help making better decisions about who you spend your time with, here are seven rules to follow.