12. Are You Getting Divorced, or, Having Marriage Counseling?
Like your health status, the status of your marriage is private. It is nobody else’s business but yours, and of course, your spouse’s. Yes, you may have been arriving at work with bags under your eyes and been off with ‘food poisoning’, three times over the past month, but that does not matter. Sharing your marital woes invites disaster.
Your personal life and the status of your relationships is just that. Personal. Sharing your problems with colleagues may be something that you are sorely tempted to do, especially if you need emotional support. However, this is never a good idea. Yes, your colleagues care about you and wish you all the best for both of you, but there is a boundary that needs to be observed between your personal life, and your work life. As difficult as it may be to get through the day and to work, that is exactly what you need to do. Do not talk about your problems at work. Your work colleagues are not the right support for you, either. Rather talk to your friends, your family, priest, or professionals.
It’s not that your work colleagues don’t care or won’t listen, it’s just that their priorities are not the same as yours. Rather take time off if you need to and than come to work if you are not coping. Your colleagues may offer you the wrong advice or worse still, tell you to divorce or leave your husband, or, wife. Well-meaning advice from colleagues may also lead to future awkwardness.
Sandra, from marketing, confesses that she thinks that you should definitely divorce your spouse and then lists the reasons why she found him, or her, annoying, at the last work Christmas party. Her candor, though well intended, could compromise your working relationship and that is the main difference to remain aware of. Work relationships are just that, and you may compromise them by sharing your personal life with your colleagues. You may mean well, but the end result may be disastrous. Rather keep your private life strictly private.