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Trolls Beware: These Hilarious Texts Will Make Even You Cringe

Monica April 19, 2023

Thinking of a clever text to send a friend deserves a pat on the back. Whether we’re texting them a joke or fooling them into believing something imaginary, there’s nothing better than fun banter and tricking your friends. There’s always room for improvement in the jokes department, which is why we’ve curated a list of the most hilarious texts that even the most seasoned internet trolls couldn’t believe. It’s time to step up your troll game and get on these people’s levels.

Heard You Like Spam

Spam is one of the most frustrating things to get. Whether it’s a spam email or a spam text, having to deal with it and delete it takes time out of our day. We’re never sure how the spammers got our email or phone number, but they managed to get a little bit too personal. This Reddit user’s friend decided to troll them and sent 2,500 texts, all saying, “Yo dawg heard you like spam.” What baffles us the most is that his friend had no problem sitting there pressing the send button over and over again (via Reddit)

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Random Locales

It’s tough being romantic. It puts us in a vulnerable spot where we’re on the line for either acceptance or rejection. We always hope it’s accepted though rejections have come. Oftentimes they hurt, but we’re able to get over it. The OP completely rejected their lover when they said they wanted to kiss them all over. Instead of a romantic text back, which is what they likely expected and hoped for, they listed several restaurants and shops they could kiss them at. It was an awkward situation, but luckily they used humor to get out of it (via Parentz Talk).

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Unknown Number

When we get texts from numbers we don’t know, we’re usually pretty quick to decipher the message and who sent it. Sometimes, it’s an accident; other times, it’s from a friend’s number we didn’t have saved. Yet rarely we’ll get texts that make no sense and give us no idea who the person is. This Reddit user was minding their own business when they got a text message from an unknown number. It said, “It is cold. The lights are on and the ceiling is Gatorade.” Let’s hope this person was alright because it doesn’t sound like they were having a good time (Reddit)

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A Strange Invite

When we get a romantic text from our partner, it makes our day. We always hope they’re sober when they send these messages since it makes it more meaningful. This Reddit user not only received a highly romantic text message, but it was a text from their friend. The text read, “Yo sup dude I’m so high right now r u comin’ over now 4 sum good lovin’?” Let’s hope good loving refers to a good meal or movie because that seems like a pretty strange text to send your friend (via Reddit)

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Pick Up A Pancake

The OP could take this person’s innuendo several ways. Whether they want to suck that pancake dry or something else is unknown. Let’s hope it’s the pancake, considering the message before asking them to pick one up. Either way, it’s a hilarious text that even a troll would have a hard time comprehending (via Reddit)

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You’re Grounded

This OP made the grave mistake of texting her dad instead of Dan. She needs to be more careful and more aware of the names on her phone. Maybe she should rename her dad’s contact. At least the dad had fun with it and trolled her, first into having her believe he thought it was a smile, and then into grounding her. That went from zero to one hundred quickly. At first, he made her believe he didn’t know what was going on, and she momentarily believed she got away with it. Not this time, Ashley (via Parentz Talk).

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Quadruple Frosting

It sounds like the OP and their friend both trolled each other with a series of texts. When one started the banter, the other followed along without hesitation. They’re holding the biggest Oreos in the world, quadruple stuffed with frosting. If that’s not gluttony, we’re not sure what is. The OP then responded with an even better comeback, and trolled him, to which the friend had no response (via Reddit).

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The Middle Finger

No one likes getting the middle finger. It’s a sign of disrespect. But it can also be used in a hilarious, joking way, as this person’s done. We’re not sure what’s worse, getting the middle finger in real life or the middle finger sent over several texts. It looks like the OP didn’t even want to respond and let their friend have at them (via Reddit).

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Wine Cleanse

It’s not easy adulting. The world expects us to act and look a certain way, and most of the time, we completely fail. Crash diets are popular, just like juicing. Extreme exercise is another way people try to get fit, fast. This person tried to troll their friend, who didn’t fall for their texts. At first, they tried to tell the OP they went on a fast, but after a few messages, they admitted they drank three bottles of wine and fell down the stairs instead. That sounds more like it (via Parentz Talk).

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Cave Water

When the OP’s friend asked them to bring home purified water without any minerals, they decided to troll them straight away. Instead of plain water, they decided to get their friend spring water, and as they put it, it was similar to licking a stalagmite. Cave water doesn’t necessarily sound delicious, but it’s probably really good for you (via Finance).

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Fractured Mind

Growing up with siblings has its pros and cons. We immediately have a friend for life, though sibling rivalries are a real thing. This is especially true as we get older and start having differing interests. The OP was not happy his brother couldn’t attend the DnD night, but his brother doesn’t seem too bothered. With his texts, he’s either trolling him when he admits he can’t tell the days apart, or he seriously has a burnt-out mind. Either way, the cabin trip will probably be better for him than a DnD night (via Parentz Talk).

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Tinder Mistake

Tinder is a strange world. You never know who you’re going to meet, or if the person is even going to look like their photo. All you can do is hope. When the OP tried to invite their match over for a night of drinking and mistakes, they were completely shut down. But the OP had a comeback with one of those texts you can’t respond to. When their match said they never make mistakes, they threw both themselves and their match, under the bus. Because they matched with them, that was their first mistake (via Reddit).

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A Concerned Ghost

The time before emojis was a creative one, involving a series of texts and characters. People were able to make anything they wanted out of the characters on a keyboard, which is how this concerned ghost came to be. We’re not sure what message they were trying to convey to their friend, but the OP had a great comeback and asked if they could haunt their friend. Take that, a ghost (Parentz Talk).

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Miscommunication

Many fights erupt because of a simple miscommunication. One person expects something of someone else, and all of a sudden a huge fight has broken out. This is especially true when there are feelings, like jealousy, guilt, or resentment involved. We’re not sure if this person is trolling the OP, but it’s a pretty horrible thing to expect someone to work for free. This person needs to learn a thing or two about respect, instead of sending mean texts and saying they let him down (via Lux and Lush).

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Smashed iPad

Pass the popcorn on this one, folks. This person got so angry that the OP sold something for nearly three times as much to someone else as they were going to pay. That’s how the world works, buddy. At least the OP didn’t let this troll take them down. Feeling angry you missed out on an opportunity is understandable, but getting angry you couldn’t buy something for less than the asking price is not (via Lux and Lush).

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That’s Not Pepper

Dogs shouldn’t hold weapons. This photograph is terrifying and looks like something from a movie gone wrong. The OP captioned the photo perfectly, “mess with labbo you get the stabbo.” Not only did the OP try and troll their friend, but their friend didn’t even flinch and said that’s not their dog. Then whose dog is it? When their friend said it was not Pepper, they renamed the evil dog and said it was “a-salt.” At least they’re going along with it, though standing near an angry dog with a knife doesn’t sound like a laughable situation (via Reddit).

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Turn On Your Locator

When Mimi texted the OP asking if they were at the hotel, the OP did not hesitate to troll them. Immediately, they sent a hilarious message mentioning their involvement with a drug cartel. That doesn’t sound pleasant. Mimi didn’t even seem to flinch with the humor, as she then sent a couple of texts accepting the situation and asking the OP to turn on the locator so they could find their body. At least the OP has people looking after them, in the worst-case scenario (via Reddit).

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Eating Bricks Huh

When jokes backfire, we feel pretty foolish, especially with jokes we thought were clever. The Joker does not like to be fooled. The OP was trying to make a joke with their friend when they were the ones getting trolled. When the OP tried to say, “What’s red and hurts your teeth,” the joke backfired. At first, it seemed like they fell for it, but once they caught on they then sent a series of texts asking why bricks would hurt their teeth if they eat them for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. If we didn’t know they were joking, it sounds like they have a serious problem on their hands (via Reddit).

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He’s Hired

When animals are dressed in human clothes, it makes us say “aww,” and bend over with a bundle of laughter. This cat is dressed in a human tie, and though the stare is intense enough to make us question his happiness or state of mind, it’s still cute. Maybe he’s just posing for the picture and will rip the tie off immediately after. Even then, the OP’s friend asked what the fat cat was doing, and when he found out he was ready for an interview, he said he was immediately hired. Anyone would be lucky enough to have this cat working with their business (via Parentz Talk).

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We’re Pregnant

Finding out you’re pregnant is either one of the most beautiful moments in the world or the most terrifying, depending on if you want to be pregnant or not. It’s a big moment when you tell your partner and is hopefully something to celebrate. But when the OP’s girlfriend told him she was pregnant, he immediately replied with a sweet message saying they were pregnant, not just her. Without hesitation, she said, “It’s not yours.” We’re not sure if she was trying to hurt him or not, but that doesn’t seem like a kind way to say that. That’s not one of those texts you ever expect to get (via Lux and Lush).

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Drinkable Toothpaste

Brushing our teeth is a satisfying way to start the day and end the day. There’s nothing like having clean, shiny teeth. The toothpaste tastes pretty good, otherwise, we wouldn’t use it. Walking around with a freshly minted mouth would make anyone’s day. It sounds like the OP received one of the strangest texts about toothpaste in the world. Their friend randomly texted them saying they wish toothpaste was drinkable. We’re not sure if that’s a common wish or not, but it’s probably a good thing you can’t eat toothpaste, as swallowing too much of it would cause stomach pain (via Reddit).

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Joe Mama

When someone says they’re an average Joe, it means they’re an average person. Many of us have never thought too much into it, though it does seem strange that that’s a saying. It sounds like the OP was having an existential crisis in this series of texts they sent their friend about the saying. Who’s Joe? And why is he average? Their friend likely didn’t know what to say, so they said, “Joe Mama.” For a situation like this, it’s probably the best response you can give via Reddit).

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Beating A Triangle

It’s normal to text our friends and ask them what they’re doing, or if they’ve seen a recent movie or television show. When this person texted the OP, they received a couple of strange texts. The OP quickly answered the question, and then casually mentioned they’re beating a triangle. How does someone beat a triangle? Maybe they have a triangular-shaped pillow, otherwise, we feel bad for that innocent triangle (via Reddit).

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The Muffin Man

Many of us grew up singing the rhyme, “Do you know the muffin man.” Even though we never got an answer to the question, it was still a catchy tune that we loved. This person sounds like not having an answer bothered them to no end. When they reached out to their friend with several text messages admitting their fearful thoughts, the OP responded hilariously. It sounds like the muffin man is someone evil and someone we need to stay far away from (via Reddit).

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Grandma

We look up to our grandparents. They’re cute, innocent old people who lived an entire life before we were even alive. We try not to drink or smoke too much in front of them since they usually try to lecture us about our bad habits. Out of love, of course. When the OP’s grandma texted him, he received a photo he didn’t expect he’d ever get. On his birthday, she smoked a fat cigar to celebrate. Everyone needs a grandma like this one (via Reddit).

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Gentlemen

Though there’s only one text in this photograph, it speaks thousands of words. It seems like the council of Jareds is a pretty important group. Are the Jareds getting together to take over the world? Or are they trying to solve world hunger? Either way, the OP Jared texts, “Gentlemen,” to which no one has yet responded. You probably wish your name was Jared so you could be in this VIP Jared group. It looks like we’ll just have to sit by the sidelines and wait to find out what happens in the Jared Council (via Reddit).

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Play The Hacker Game

Hackers are smart. That’s why they’re so good at what they do. Before people caught on to the hacker scam, they fooled people through emails and texts. They’re trying to take advantage of the most vulnerable people who are clueless about their scandals. When the OP was caught in a scam, they made a great comeback. Instead of getting seven $100 Apple certificate gift cards, they got 100 $7 gift cards to Chili. There’s nothing more hilarious than outsmarting a scammer (via Parentz Talk).

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No Phones In Class

Texting in class is a big no-no, though texting your parent about pick-up and doctor’s appointments seems more understandable. Mr. Ratili wanted to teach this mom a lesson about texting. He confiscated her daughter’s phone during class and told the mom her daughter won’t get it back until after school. He just messed up their pick-up plans, which seems stressful when there’s a doctor’s appointment involved. Her response back was extreme, though, as she showed him who’s boss (via Lux and Lush).

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Out Of Line

This sink is out of line. It’s not playing by the sink rules and is making all of us feel uncomfortable. The hole is not where it should be, and we’re not sure who built this sink like this or why they decided to make it so different than the rest. These texts are hilarious and chaotic, and we can feel the OP’s pain. His friend doesn’t seem phased and almost trolls him into asking why it’s such a big deal. His solution? Don’t use that bathroom (via Parentz Talk).

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Caught Red Handed

When we’re caught in a lie, there’s no way to get out of it. We usually feel guilty and ashamed and hope the other person forgives us. When the OP asked their partner what they were doing, their partner straight up lied. But their partner wasn’t ready for their comeback. When they asked the OP what they were doing, they said, “In the club standing behind you.” We would have loved to see the OP’s partner turn around and look straight into the eyes of their now ex-partner (via Reddit).

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Zac Efron

If an unknown number sends you a random photograph, what’s the first thing you would ask? Who is this? The OP decided to troll this random person with a photograph of Zac Efron with a gun. When the person asked who they were, they stated the obvious. It’s Zac Efron with a gun, although we’re not sure we’ve ever seen the two together. It certainly ruined his High School Musical image (via Reddit).

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Show That Bird Who’s Boss

If an angry bird lands on your windowsill, the first thing you would do is make sure all of your windows are shut. There’s no saying what that bird is capable of. When the OP discovered this angry bird on their window, they sent a photograph to their friend. Their friend sent a hilarious slew of texts back, suggesting the OP mix a bunch of eggs in a bowl and show him who’s boss. That’ll teach him a lesson or two (via Reddit).

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Don’t Be Sketchy

If someone asks you not to do something involving them, it’s usually a good idea to listen to them. It’s a sign of respect. Oftentimes, though, there are ways to get around doing something. So when the OP’s friend asked them not to save their name as anything sketchy, they did exactly that. Technically, their saved name isn’t sketchy, since it’s “not their drug dealer,” though it’s a hilarious alternative to an otherwise sketchy name (via Reddit).

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The All-Knowing Landlord

Some landlords don’t understand boundaries. They look like they own their tenants and can tell them what to do, whenever they feel like it. We’re not sure why the landlord was inspecting their tenant’s balcony, but they need to give their tenant a break. It’s too much to weigh papers down with a plant pot. This landlord needs to chill out. At the very least, the OP was able to make light of the situation with hilarious emojis next to their landlord’s name (via Parentz Talk).

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Good Omens

The OP set this one up. When they told their friend Evan is watching Good Omens, they probably thought they had a 50/50 shot they would reply with the word “good.” When they replied exactly as they wanted them to, they didn’t hesitate to make their hilarious comeback. We’ll give it to them, it’s pretty clever (via Reddit).

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Effortless Romance

Over the past several decades, dating has seriously changed. There doesn’t seem to be any real romance, and people are usually quick to jump into a relationship without getting to know the person before jumping into bed with them. When the OP received this adorable text from their partner, they could barely respond. It just proves that romance is not dead. Everyone needs a boyfriend like this one since it sounds like an evening from a movie (via Parentz Talk).

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Did It Hurt?

Most of us had heard of the pick-up line, “Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?” It’s as cliche as pick-up lines go and are incredibly cheesy. The OP decided to take a spin on that cliche and make it their own. Their friend’s response was chilled out and casual, but the OP took it a step further and said, “When you broke the Earth’s crust ascending from Hell.” Honestly, that sounds a lot better than the cliche. Maybe it’s time to change things up a bit (via Reddit).

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Show Him Who’s Boss

There’s nothing more than getting a text from a random number threatening you with their body weight. When the OP had to text his coworker, he got a series of texts from a stranger he never expected to get. Based on this exchange, it sounds like this girlfriend needs to get a new boyfriend, since this one is ridiculously possessive. It was an innocent exchange asking someone to take his shift and turned into a threat involving height and bench press abilities (via Parentz Talk).

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Staring Contest

Whenever we make a funny face, our friends are usually the first ones to tell us. When the OP wanted to show their friend what they look like during a staring contest at a bar, they gave them a graphic image that portrayed their face to a T. It’s likely their friend will never get themselves into a staring contest at a bar again, because we doubt they want to look like that (via Reddit).

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Brace Yourself For Disaster

There’s nothing worse than getting back from a date with someone you like only to find out they don’t like you. What’s even worse is to find out by accident, as Jimmy did. Mistakes happen, and sometimes, we text the wrong person. Usually, nothing comes out of it and there’s nothing more to say than, “Oops.” When this person wanted to text their friend about their blind date with Jimmy, they were quick to mention his braces. But they weren’t texting their friend, they were texting Jimmy. At least Jimmy has enough self-worth to tell them they need to move forward only as friends. One day, he’ll find someone that loves his braces (via Lux and Lush).

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