A strong woman is not a joke, fallacy or an aberration. She is a force of nature. A tough woman has the capacity to love and the ability to change the world. But she doesn’t do it with coercion or seduction, but rather through sheer force of will. There are certain traits of strong alpha women that makes them stand out, too.
Most confident, secure women have been blessed with examples to follow. Whether it is a mother, grandmother, aunt or even a beloved teacher, that person has inspired and enabled them to be strong. But tough women often meet resistance in this world.
Strong women don’t conform, they are being themselves. Being tough is how they survive, but it is also who they choose to be. And this is how you recognize them and can be a strong person, too.
1. Embrace Confidence and Strength of Character
There are times when people mistake strength with arrogance. There is a certain confidence that exudes from strength of character. Self-confidence is one of the top traits of strong alpha women that allows them to walk into a room with their shoulders squared and their head held high. They make eye contact and gesticulate. Alpha women don’t blend into the crowd.
Strong women know and accept their strengths and weaknesses but are not blind to their faults. They do not live in a rose-tinted world where their perception of themselves is remarkably flawless. They are fully aware of where they fall short. The difference is they accept their flaws. They aren’t happy with their shortcomings, so alpha women constantly strive to correct them.
Alpha women also know their strengths. They know their worth and they are not ashamed of that. Strong women are not in the business of downplaying their strengths simply to placate the masses. They will shine as bright and for as long as they possibly can. This may even at times border on overbearing, but you can bet this will not stop them.
A strong woman will not apologize for being who she is, either. You may not have to accept them, but you can’t stop them, either. They exude confidence, which demands respect from everyone around them.
2. Move on and Learn from Your Mistakes
Everyone makes mistakes. After all, regrets are a part of life. There is a choice, though. You can either cling onto and nurture your regrets or take it for what it is – a lesson. Everything that didn’t go your way and every questionable choice you made has the potential to be a learning experience. And it doesn’t have to give you shivers up your spine or keep you up at night.
A strong woman doesn’t let regrets keep her back or make her fear every future choice she makes. Instead, she harnesses the opportunity for what it is. Maybe the things she tries and says may be wrong at times, but that also means she knows how not to do things. It didn’t work this time, but at least a strong woman has more information going forward. She has a greater chance of getting it right the next time.
One of the best traits of strong alpha women is that they stay focused on the next step, not the last. Tough women are preoccupied with the present, not the past. She knows she can’t change the past, but she has space to move in the present. It is here where strong women can learn, adapt and succeed. It is here where life truly lives.
An alpha woman won’t let the past hold her back, and she won’t let anyone else do that, either. Although she will own up to her mistakes and apologize when necessary. But, she will never dwell on things she can’t change.
3. Ditch the Drama
One of the world’s most damaging, incorrect fallacies are that women are overly emotional. Women may be more outwardly emotional than men, but that doesn’t mean that they feel more. They may spend more time examining and naming these emotions, but that doesn’t mean they have more of them than your average men. Saying that a strong woman doesn’t like drama is slightly misleading because she is simply a person who avoids drama.
Some women and men create and thrive on drama. These people are champions of chaos. They are confrontational, and they don’t possess a diplomatic bone in their bodies. When something happens they find upsetting, they violently spew out their emotions without much thought or consideration.
However, a strong woman doesn’t operate on this spectrum. She is not a pushover, so she is not afraid to speak her mind calmly and with confidence. But an alpha woman has no time for unnecessary drama, ridiculous fights and pointless grudges. She is also not interested in dedicating time to people who cherish these things.
4. Avoid Being a Victim
Most people would like to believe that people are inherently good. Whether this is true or not, is still up for debate. But, it is not only bad people who do bad things. This may seem counterintuitive, but good people can do horrible things. They can break a person down, they can devalue them and they can hurt their feelings.
This is the reality of human existence. It is acceptable to feel hurt by another person’s actions. You are not barred from feeling the pain you are going through. No one is expected to immediately get back up as if nothing happened in the first place. There is, however, an element of pain that is under your control.
Although you can’t control other’s actions, you can be the master of your own life and of yourself. By controlling the power other people have over you, you can prevent yourself from becoming a victim. A victim is powerless and at the complete mercy of their attacker. They are not the masters of their environment, either emotional and physical.
Strong women don’t let others put them down. Their validation doesn’t come from external sources, comes from inside themselves. Alpha females allow negative experiences to flow over, not through them. Tough women focus their energy on working through pain and then moving past it, not rehashing it like a treasured memory. Recycled grief and pain holds no allure to them.
5. Enjoy Every Minute
Society has its own version of how to live a happy, fulfilled life. It generally works something like this: You go to school and work hard to get good grades. The good grades gain you entrance into the university of your choice where you study something sure to land you a secure, stable job. Fast forward three or four years and you enter the working world.
You may spend the next 20 years working your way up the industry. In the meantime, you save for retirement, build up a credit record, marry and have a few kids. This is the basic formula for happiness and “the good life.”
There are some optional add-ons like a house in the suburbs, a dog or cat, and vacations abroad every few years. This formula may work for some, which is fine. Live this life and enjoy the happiness and comfort it affords you. There is no need to feel any less satisfied with living the life most people create for themselves.
There are some people, though, who don’t want this life. They don’t want to travel the beaten path. They want something different, yet they aren’t brave enough to go out and get it. Instead, they follow the steps of life and are unsatisfied with how things turn out for them.
A strong woman lives the life she wants to live. She believes it is necessary to enjoy her life. Alpha women won’t do something because people expect her to. She does it because she wants to.
6. Set and Defend Your Boundaries
Boundaries are there to protect you. They also let people know what you will and won’t accept. People develop boundaries over the course of their lives. These boundaries change and adapt according to your experiences and needs. You build boundaries as a child to help you form healthy relationships with your parents.
But there are some people who have unhealthy boundaries. These are people who either have too few or too many boundaries. The result is their relationships aren’t functioning or are unhealthy. A person with too many boundaries never lets their guard down. They don’t let people in and are almost incapable of being vulnerable, even around those they love and trust.
These people usually cold, jaded and unfeeling. A person with too few boundaries tends to overshare. They can’t distinguish between private and public information. People who lack boundaries tend to move too quickly in most relationships and wind up terrifying people with their open vulnerability. They become overly emotionally-attached to people.
People who don’t set boundaries also let others take advantage of them due to their inherently trusting nature. And other people don’t know where they draw the line with them. A strong woman knows her boundaries. She knows exactly what she will and won’t accept. What’s more, the people around her are aware of these boundaries.
She will not let people take advantage of her. She will not let people invade her personal space. And she will not let anyone take her for granted. This does not mean she is unfeeling. She expects other people to treat her with the same dignity and respect she shows them.
An alpha woman will let you know where you stand with her. She will be quick to speak up if you push her boundaries or buttons.
7. Make Real-Time Relationships
This digital age has a way of seducing people. It has convinced tons of people that their online interactions are comparable to real-life. Some people text each other about everything. When you give that hot guy your number at the bar, he doesn’t call you. Instead, he sends you a message on WhatsApp.
Although there may be a few emojis scattered around the message, it doesn’t replace sitting across the table from someone and having a conversation. Many people don’t meet others organically or converse with them naturally anymore. Instead of judging them by their actions, you may judge by how long their last message was or whether they liked your new post on Instagram. Unfortunately, this is an unacceptable way to forge and strengthen bonds.
Humans are physical beings who need physical interaction. Neurologically we bond through real-life, skin on skin contact. A relationship with this component is the only kind that a strong woman will partake in. A text in the morning is sweet and a good night phone call is heart-warming, but it isn’t the same as a hug or a kiss or even holding someone’s hand. You need to see, hear and feel the people you are with.
Alpha women refuse to have a relationship that only exists in the virtual world. To them, a five-minute conversation face-to-face holds more value than a thousand text threads.
8. Be Assertive and Open
You have to play the game to succeed in this life. These games have shifting rules and are present in every sphere of life. There is the dating game where you have to play hard to get, but you must not be aloof. You can’t sleep with him too early, but you can’t be a prude, either. It is disastrous to care too much too soon, but if you don’t show enough interest, the other person may move on.
Then you have the game at work. You have to compliment your boss, but not so much they think you are sucking up. You should get to know your co-workers, but you can’t get too close because they are your competition.
These games govern you. They tell you how to live your life. They are essential, but they are also a lie. Most people are not being honest when they play these games. Instead, they present a version of ourselves they think people want. They hide a certain aspect of themselves and invent new ones.
Most people do this because they think they have to. After all, those who don’t play the game are either left behind or forced to change the rules. A strong woman doesn’t play these games. She wants to be honest and open.
In fact, she doesn’t even know how to be anyone other than herself. She is also not coy. If she wants something, she will go out and get it. If she thinks she deserves something, she will ask for it, within reason, of course.
9. Avoid Worshipping Celebrities
Celebrities are the royalty of the 21st century. Fans watch their movies, follow them on social media and soak up every detail about their lives they can. They are glamorous, rich, and beautiful. But there are many celebrities who are worth their salt. They spend massive amounts of time and energy working on their art.
They dedicate all they have to deliver the best performance possible. They should certainly be applauded for their efforts, but should people worship them? Does it make sense that people become completely consumed in the supposed lives of a stranger? The scores of reality shows that broadcast celebrities lives are shocking and disheartening. Why should a person care that this celebrity fought with her husband, or that celebrity had a disagreement with her sister?
This information is completely useless. It adds no value to anyone’s life. It is white noise and is basically just a money scam. The media has managed to convince people that this is the stuff that matters. That this information is what people must care about because they have succeeded. However, a strong woman is not fooled by this.
One of the traits of strong alpha women is they don’t care about the personal lives of celebrities. To her, these tidbits hold no value since they are useless in the real world. They serve no purpose and she knows this. A strong woman would rather spend her time on things that are real and relevant. She cares about the things that impact herself, as well as others.
10. Be Open to Love But Happy to Be Single
Recently there have been studies done on whether it is possible to be happy and single. These tests wanted to test if people could live fulfilled lives without needing a partner. These people are not necessarily abjectly opposed to relationships. They are satisfied with either being alone or being in a relationship, provided it is a good relationship. These people are not serial daters.
They don’t enter into relationships for the sake of being in one, but rather because they feel a connection with a person. On the flip side, some people need to be in a relationship. There is nothing wrong with this. They simply fit on a different side of the spectrum. They find more joy and fulfillment when they are in a relationship than when alone. This is their choice, and no one can judge them for that.
Strong alpha women are not like this. They are not hell-bent on being in a relationship, but they are also not opposed to them. They will happily enter a relationship if they feel there is a possibility of real happiness with the person. But a strong woman won’t accept a person just because they are around and willing. She has strict standards and is not likely to stray from them.
If this person doesn’t come along, she will be alone, and she will be perfectly okay with that. Instead, alpha women fill their lives with interesting people, new hobbies and an ever-growing collection of adventures and stories.
11. Take Advantage of Every Opportunity
It is not easy to put yourself out there. Taking risks can be a dangerous endeavor. You may end up getting hurt, disappointed and screwed over. But, are all bad experiences bad experiences or are they opportunities to learn something? By taking a leap of faith, you open yourself up to a world of possibilities.
Yes, the outcome could be bad, but it could also be ground-breaking and life-changing. It could show you a side of yourself you never knew and open the world up right beneath your feet. It is easy to stick to your comfort zone. After all, it is called the comfort zone for a reason. But, there is no real chance for growth there.
A new experience doesn’t come from staying home. Downtime is important, but it should not be all the time. You should live your life, not just exist. People are here for you to meet and new experiences are waiting for you. But for some, taking a chance is too terrifying.
For an alpha woman, it is an absolute necessity. They thrive on the thrill of taking chances, doing new things and seizing each opportunity that comes their way. Strong alpha women don’t dwell on the norm and the mundane. They try new things, constantly. For this reason, these women are wildly versatile beings.
They can talk about almost any topic and can find something enjoyable at any venue. They are not wallflowers. They enter a room and strive to make it the best night of their life. Opportunities are not wasted on strong women because they are always open to trying something new.
12. Practice Self-Improvement
Body positivity has been a much-debated topic in recent years. Its sole aim is to repair some of the damage that the media has done. It is this same media that bred a generation of men and women who hate their bodies. They have taught these people to be blind to the beauty of others. Rather, they strive to look like the air-brushed models in the tabloids and on TV.
The people in these images are either not real or have undergone lifestyle changes that border on the masochistic. These people must nip, tuck, diet and apply products to resemble society’s accepted version of beauty. The second consequence of this brain-washing is that some women think their worth lies solely in their looks. This type of woman things she doesn’t need to be intelligent if she is attractive.
And, if she is intelligent, then she is not attractive. Countless women still play dumb in an attempt to pander to the fragile masculinities they come into contact with daily. These women hide their intellect and instead focus on sculpting their bodies and faces to feel accepted by the media and society.
However, strong alpha women don’t do that. A strong woman has no problem with displaying her physical and mental prowess. What’s more, she never stops working on herself. She is always improving because she wants to. It makes her feel confident, beautiful and intelligent.
A strong woman doesn’t let her mind and body degrade or waste away. But, she also won’t let society dictate how and why she should do it. An alpha woman always wants to look her best. But most of all, she wants to be the best possible version of herself.
13. Know When to Walk Away
It is not easy to walk away from a bad relationship, whether it’s a spouse, family, friends or co-workers. There is an attachment and emotions wrapped up in this relationship that a person will be unwilling to let go. It is hard to move on, that’s plain and simple. People dwell in these situations for several reasons.
Some people don’t believe they deserve better. So, if they walk away now, they will never find anything else, let alone something better. But some people are eternally hopeful. These people don’t give up because they have hope that things will get better. They believe people will change and love them the way they deserve to be loved.
There are even some people who stay out of obligation. These people stick around and put up with abuse because they feel they have no other choice. They don’t believe it is within their rights to ask for more or walk out. However, admitting and acknowledging your worth is the first step to take. Once you can be honest with yourself and realize you deserve better, you can walk away.
After you successfully walk away, you will no longer accept the abuse and subpar treatment. You can go out and seek better. You can finally cut the chains that have locked you in emotional torment.
This is the only way strong alpha women know how to live. They will not stay in a bad relationship, no matter who it is. Be it family, friends, co-workers or partners, a strong woman knows what she deserves, and she expects it. She won’t allow anyone to mistreat or mishandle her.
14. Always Unashamedly Be Yourself
Expectations often govern people’s actions. These expectations can come from many different sources. For example, your friends, family, teachers, bosses and spouses all have certain expectations. Even society expects you to be a certain person and behave in a certain way. But these expectations rarely coincide with what an individual wants for themselves.
Yet people still listen to them. They do what these people think is best for them. They think the way they say we should and say what is only acceptable to them. Sometimes people do this because trusting themselves is terrifying. What if you make a mistake? What if you upset or alienate people by being an individual with thoughts and desires of your own?
But strong alpha women have the confidence to be themselves. They have enough faith in their abilities and intelligence to make the best possible decisions. They say what they need to say and do what they need to do. An alpha woman has trust in her abilities, too. Even when the world is telling her she is wrong, she will dig in her heels and stand her ground.
It is these strong women who change the world. They show the world there is an alternate way to do things. Alpha women are always themselves. They are not what people want them to be, because they don’t know how to play the part.
15. Be Proactive
Hesitation and doubt can be powerful forces. When there is the option to either act or remain stationary, many people will choose to stay where they are. They do this because “better the devil you know than the devil you don’t.” They would rather accept their current situation because at least they know how to deal with it. They avoid making a choice to move where there may be unknown terrors and dangers.
This is caution and it can be useful. Humans are built to survive, no matter the odds. This means that caution is ingrained in your DNA. Why take the chance when the outcome is unclear? Why take the risk when the result could be horrible?
These people survive, but do are they living life to the fullest? Do they experience life with all its treasures and pains? Or, should they maintain the middle ground where less bad and good things can happen? Strong alpha women take the chance. When given the choice between standing still and taking a risk, they take the risk.
Strong women are not necessarily haphazard risk-takers, though. They don’t go into things completely blind. When they see a new possibility, they examine it. They weigh the pros and cons and decide on a course of action. A strong woman would rather deal with the possible bad consequences than live with the regret of not doing something. Regrets haunt alpha women.
Do you see yourself in any of these traits of strong alpha women? Perhaps you found a trait you want to develop more in yourself on this list. Just remember, to be a strong alpha woman, you need to nurture your self-confidence, self-esteem and appreciate all that life has to offer. It’s that simple.