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These Breakup Texts Will Make You Never Want To Date Anyone Again

Monica April 15, 2024

Dating someone is exciting, thrilling, and nerve-wracking, especially in the early going of the partnership. You don’t want to come on too strong, yet you don’t want to seem uninterested. There’s a certain balance we need to keep until we get to seriously know the person. Sometimes, relationships thrive and end in a wedding, but other times, they completely fail and end in a vicious breakup.

People get scared and react by brutally breaking up with their partners. These days, that can transpire through a slew of mean texts. We’ve collected the worse breakup texts in the world that will either scare you away from dating anyone ever again or possibly make you appreciate your partner that much more.

Not Fit Enough

Tinder is hit or a miss to say the least. You never know who’s on that app, and it’s usually the best date ever or the worst date of your life. The people on Tinder are also either completely cringy or simply looking for a good time; there never seems to be an in-between. After going out with this person on Tinder a couple of times, the OP received this brutal breakup text. They commented on the message and said, “She was keen on organizing something else, but I just hadn’t got around to it. We were going to meet that night, as I was on my way back from a work trip, but I was late and just got this out of nowhere.” Not only does she make horrible comments at him, but she curses multiple times and comments on his middle-class lifestyle. She needs to find herself a Sugar Daddy if this is what she wants (via Vice).

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Public Callout

Technically, this is less of a breakup text and more of a breakup billboard. It’s much, much worse than a breakup text. Not only did this ex-wife call him out, but she called him out for the entire world to see. Go Emily! Her husband sounds like a horrible man and she’s most likely better off without him. Not only did she catch him cheating, but she has proof of all of it on tape. That’s gold. We’d love to see her husband’s face as he walked down the street and saw this billboard. Now, she has his undivided attention, though it’s too late. At least she paid for it out of their joint bank account too (via Daily Choices).

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The Sudden Disappearance

This breakup text hurt to read, and it sounds like the OP dodged a huge bullet. She was dating a horrible guy called Dave who broke up with her in front of his best friend. Instead of consoling her or Dave, the best friend jumped right in and flirted with the girl. The OP said he came straight to her workplace and sent suggestive texts for an entire month. She said, “The night I finally agreed to take him home, he disappeared. When I messaged to see where he was, this is the reply I received.” Not only did he have a girlfriend, but he felt the need to make it very clear he would never date her nor does he ever want to see her (via Vice).

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Wrong Number

It’s one thing to break up with someone over text, and another thing to get the number wrong. How could you even manage that? Weren’t you texting them day in and day out in the first place? If they managed to break up with the wrong person, they shouldn’t even be dating in the first place. At least they asked the wrong number if that was a bad way to break up with someone. Even though we don’t know what the person said, we can at least hope they were honest (via Seventeen).

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This Card Will Feel Heavy

Hiding only works for some time. Eventually, though, the truth comes out. And the longer it takes to come out, the worse the punishment. It grows until it eventually blows up. This ex-girlfriend thought she was getting away with having multiple boyfriends, while also having one boyfriend. All of her dates eventually came to the surface. Not only did her boyfriend break up with her, but he broke up with her in a hilarious way. He handed her back the house key in a not-so-nice card. She deserved that, though, after keeping her multiple boyfriends a secret. She needs to get her priorities straight so let’s hope she learned her lesson (via Daily Choices).

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Are You Serious?

Unrequited love hurts. It especially hurts if the person you loved doesn’t love you back. Not only did this person try to make an 11:11 wish about her future husband-to-be, but she did it cutely. It backfired. Instead of celebrating, her now ex-boyfriend confessed he wanted to end it before it got too serious. Well, now is his chance. It got too serious. He found a perfect opportunity to break up with her. It got too serious for him when she tried to make a wish about their future together. Next time they date someone, they need to make sure they’re on the same page as the other person (via Daily Choices).

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I’m Leaving You

There are acronyms for everything, especially in this day and age. We can shorten many phrases and sentences and get straight to the point. Most of us would assume ILY means I love you, especially coming from our partner. This person made the grave mistake of thinking that. When they asked their partner to spell out ILY, they spelled it out. Instead of saying, ‘I love you,’ they said “I’m leaving you.” That’s not what they expected. That breakup text came out of nowhere. They have some nerve leading their partner on like that and then suddenly breaking up with them. This person is better off with someone who respects them and their relationship (via Daily Choices).

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Not Catching On

Using a metaphor is great in creative writing. It enhances the sentences and brings life to the world of the characters. But it’s not great when you’re trying to break up with someone, especially your long-term partner. This person tried to break up with their partner by using a metaphor for other couples that broke up. That’s not how it works. By trying to use comparison, jokes, and sneaky metaphors, they beat around the bush. And when their partner didn’t catch on fast enough, they didn’t seem happy. Next time, they need to just tell them the truth straight off the bat (via Seventeen).

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Miscommunication 101

Communication is a vital part of a partnership. Miscommunication happens often, and it’s up to the couple to work through it and reach a conclusion that’s on the same page. Even if you don’t want the same things, you can still conclude. This couple’s relationship doesn’t seem to have any basis for communication or understanding. They felt differently about each other, and for some reason, both resorted to a text message to get their point across. One wanted to spend their life together, and the other wanted to break up. Jacob needs to work on his communication and not end things with his girlfriend over a text, especially one who wanted to marry him (via Daily Choices).

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The Comeback

We appreciate this person’s coming back. Their partner made a bad joke by testing them and asking what they would do if they broke up with them. When they said get back with their ex, that was it for them and they immediately ended it. But the person had a backup plan because when their babe ended it, they asked them if they wanted to go out with them because they were their ex. It’s all pretty confusing and sounds like a relationship that shouldn’t happen in the first place (via Seventeen).

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In Denial

It’s hard enough to break up with someone, let alone three times because that person doesn’t want to believe what you’re saying. This person was in denial that their partner wanted to break up with them. They’re in a rough place already, and then to have someone try to beg them to come back to them is another layer of difficulty. We’re worried this girl doesn’t take no for an answer. Maybe the ex ended up blocking her on all social media so she would finally get the point (via Daily Choices).

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That’s The Point

When we date someone, it’s because we loved them. But when we break up with them, there are reasons behind that, too. Maybe they just didn’t fit in with our perception of an ideal partner, or they weren’t a match. Either way, we learn what we do and do not like in a partner. Even though it’s a brutal break up the text, this person wasn’t lying when they said the point of dating someone else is to find someone that’s not like them. It doesn’t make you a bad person, just an honest one, though they could have said it with a bit more compassion (via Seventeen).

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The Breaking Point

Not everyone understands song references, especially in a text message. No one should be punished for not knowing the lyrics to a song, either. The point of dating someone is to learn something new and share knowledge about certain things. It sounds like this person was looking for any excuse to break up with their partner, and when they finally found that excuse, they took advantage of it (via Seventeen)

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Breakup Cake

It looks like this person found the easiest way to break up with their partner. It was a piece of cake! We all know you can’t have your cake and eat it too, though this person believes otherwise. They moved to Australia and made it very clear they were going without their partner. At least they got a cake out of it, because their partner could have left them with nothing, although it might leave a bad taste in their mouths for the rest of their lives (via Daily Choices).

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Your Life Is A Movie

Everyone wants to live their life like they’re in the movies. It’s what most of us strive for, even though it doesn’t always mean good things. This person stole a line from Batman to break up with their partner. Did they think their partner wouldn’t catch on? Or did they believe it would soften the punch? Next time, they could just be honest and break up with them using their own words. It would make it seem a lot more sincere (via Seventeen).

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Single You

Knock-knock jokes are fun, but this one must be one of the worst ones in the world. Unless you’re telling an actual joke. What started as an innocent joke quickly turned sour. They ended the joke with “Single you,” and when their partner didn’t understand, they retaliated and said they didn’t want to be too harsh. At least their now-ex retaliated and had a harsh word with them. They deserved it. Their ex-partner also deserves someone who doesn’t break up with them using a knock-knock joke (via Daily Choices).

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Not In On The Joke

When you’re not in on the joke, it hurts. It feels like everyone around you is making fun of you and knows something you don’t. That’s exactly what happened to this person. Their so-called best friend heard about their non-existent breakup. Unfortunately, the breakup didn’t happen yet, so the friend notified them via text. It looks like she’s going to have a long word with Derek (via Seventeen).

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We’re Octagon

At least there’s some humor in this breakup text. First, it looks like this partner would do anything for their ex, though it doesn’t sound like they did much during the relationship. There’s a reason they say you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. This person’s phone went through autocorrect and instead of saying they’re over, they said they’re octagon. Maybe that should be the new way to break up with people (via Daily Choices).

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You Got Played Too

The tables turned on this text message, and quickly. This person tried to break up with their partner, only to have them retaliate with a sudden breakup poem. They were played, and players always get played. It’s a pretty decent poem, and it makes us wonder if they wrote it themselves or stole it from another person (via Seventeen).

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Long Distance Doesn’t Work

London to Brighton is about an hour-and-a-half drive. This guy used it as an excuse to end things with the girl he was dating, even though it sounds like he already had excuses lined up. She said, “He slid into my Instagram DMs and, after chatting for a while, we went for a drink. We ended up seeing each for about two months. I had asked him if the London to Brighton thing bothered him, and he said no.” He changed his mind. The excuses began. He said, “He also works in London every Wednesday, but I asked to go for a drink after work one time and he said, ‘I really need to rush back and do some weights.’ Another time I asked to see him one weekend and he said to come the weekend after because there was some ‘big meal’ happening. Then I got that text in the middle of the day.” She never heard from him again (via Vice).

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Overcompensation Nation

For someone who’s not the best at messaging, it looks like he does a great job at writing essays. He went above and beyond at explaining why it won’t work out. The OP said, “We met on OkCupid. He’d been on First Dates, I’d been on a live-streamed date on VICE, so we bonded over that. We had two dates, but it was in the Christmas season when you have like 0! time! He said he wasn’t great at messaging, and I said I’d be fine with it – but wasn’t. NYE came and went, I spent an evening messaging him, talked about him to my friends loads, then asked the universe to send me a sign – and got that message an hour later.” This isn’t as much a brutal breakup as a disappointing one (via Vice).

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Keeping The Dog

When we break up with someone, we usually have to divide our things as evenly as possible. That includes the dog. This person decided to skip the conversation part and jump straight to the point. Not only are they keeping the dog, but they’re divorcing them, too. This is likely Paul’s favorite cafe. Well, it’s no longer a place he’ll want to go to. We imagine him walking up in the morning, looking forward to his favorite cup of coffee, only to discover this. Good morning Paul! (via Daily Choices).

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She Must Go

It’s one thing to sell your things, and another to sell your wife. She messed up big time because this husband didn’t hesitate to sell all her things, including her. Maybe he’s hoping someone shows up and takes her away, with her mugs and sweaters too. That’s a brutal way to break up with someone, though revenge was likely called for in this scenario (via Daily Choices).

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Get Your Math Straight

In relationships, most people have to get their priorities straight. This person has to get their math straight, and also their grammar. At least their partner admitted they’re not breaking up with them because of their horrible math, but because of other reasons we never learn about. To top it all off, “I don’t have any math” isn’t attractive, and we’re certain that’s part of why they’re not dating anymore. Poor Ron, he’ll need to go back to school to learn math, single and heartbroken (via Daily Choices).

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